This little proverb relates to my momentary situation. I entered a new stage of life and now I'm terrified. Very difficult to describe...uh...how about the beginning?
University...that word entails so much, if you ask me. Now, let me get this straight. I like that place, the campus, my faculty. And let me say, I am so very, very greatful to have been accepted to this university. Thinking, this is what I want to do, believing, here is my place, where I belong. And now, I'm not so sure anymore.
I study at Dresden University of Technology and my department is biology. In all probability I'll be feeding jellyfish starting next week. You might think that is nothing special but it's actually really awesome. Have you ever seen medusae? That's is what you call jellyfish. It's a zoological term, obviously. Oh, they are so very tiny and really cute. My professor is fighting for an aquarium inside the faculties building. And truth behold, so far, there is no living animal anywhere. Seriously, it's biology. They got plants in every single office, but no animal? Apart from some viruses and E.coli bacteria in the genetics sub-department, maybe (of course, they arn't animals but another kind of living being). Time for some change and I obligingly try my best to help.
At any rate, I am very pleased and excited about this and it makes me kind of happy. Zoology is my favourite subjct (as you might have guessed). My genetics and botany lectures are alright, sometimes genuinely compelling. I don't much care for the botany practical. Microscopy...geez, headaches all over, I tell you. The worst are maths and physics. Occasionally I believe I can make it but most times I loose all hope. It's so hard, because I'm not sure if biology is really the right thing for me to do.
I found some nice friends so far, get along nicely with them but oh, I'm still not sure about the subject, the department. Is it really what I want or just an evasion? Hn...so very difficult!
Does anyone understand that? I really think I'm making a mistake either way. Is it wrong to go on with it, altough I'm not that happy with my choice? Or would it be wrong to give up so quickly? Ah, I tell ya, life can be so annoying!